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in my restless dreams, i see that town.

silent hill.

you promised me you'd take me there again someday. but, you never did.

well, i'm alone there now. in our special place... waiting for you...
waiting for you to come see me. but you never do. and so i wait, wrapped in my cocoon of pain & loneliness.

i know i've done a terrible thing to you. something you'll never forgive me for. i wish i could change that, but i can't.

i feel so pathetic & ugly, laying here, waiting for you...

every day, i stare up at the cracks in the ceiling & all i can think about is how unfair it all is...

the doctor came today. he told me i could go home for a short stay.
it's not that i'm getting better. it's just that this may be my last chance... i think you know what i mean...

even so, i'm glad to be coming home. i've missed you terribly.
but i'm afraid, james. i'm afraid you don't really want me to come home.

whenever you come see me, i can tell how hard it is on you... i don't know if you hate me or pity me... or maybe i just disgust you. i'm sorry about that.

when i first learned that i was going to die, i just didn't want to accept it. i was so angry all the time & i struck out at everyone i loved most.
especially you, james.

that's why i understand if you do hate me.

but i want you to know this, james.
i'll always love you.
even though our life together had to end like this, i still wouldn't trade it for the world.
we had some wonderful years together.

well, this letter has gone on too long, so i'll say goodbye...
i told the nurse to give this to you... after i'm gone...
that means that, as you read this, i'm already dead.

i can't tell you to remember me, but i can't bear for you to forget me...

these last few years, before i became ill... i'm so sorry for what i did to you...
did to us...

you've given me so much, & i haven't been able to return a single thing.
that's why i want you to live for yourself, now. do what's best for you, james.

james...

you made me happy.

september 30th, 1998...

it's a day i'll never forget.
the cop inside me died that day.

and that night, raccoon city was wiped out, thanks to the bioweapons created by umbrella.
somehow, i made it out. but too many others weren't so lucky.

i was 'asked' later to join a top-secret government program. not that i had a choice.
the training, the punishing missions, nearly killed me.
but at least they kept my mind off everything.

if i could just forget what happened that night...the pain...even for a second.
this time, it can be different.

it has to.